Tim Hortons Changed My Life...And It's Probably Changing Yours
I've suspected it for a while now, but this morning's ritual Tim Hortons run confirmed it: Tim Hortons really has changed my life.
My story is one of challenges, all of which I willingly accept on a daily basis, lured by the fantasy of RRRolling my way up to some higher coffee-or-big-screen-tv-or-new-car-filled plain that my coffee maker and Western Family beans at home could never offer.
First Challenge: The Drive Thru Shuffle
After I wait in the "pre-drive-thru" left hand lane on Promontory road for a few minutes behind a couple of trucks, wondering if doing so is illegal or not, I manage to secure my spot in the formal 12 car drive-thru lineup.
While sitting there I try to imagine what others behind and in front of me in line are thinking.
"Should I try a Triple Triple today?"
"Why's that guy ahead of me staring at me in his rear view mirror?"
"Will people laugh and talk about me if I keep singing along with the radio?"
"Is my car going to flood out when I have to drive through that huge puddle?"
I conclude with my own question:
"Are we all mental for lining up like this every morning just for a sugary coffee in a paper cup?"
After a bit too much diesel exhaust inhalation and digging through the car ashtray to find as many pennies as time allows me to count out, I'm handed my reward: a large one and one.
Challenge Two: The Lid Rip and Burn
Coffee in hand, I'm faced with the next challenge: immediate or postponed gratification. Do I open my coffee right there in drive thru and make the guy behind me wait 10 more seconds, or do I try pulling ahead slowly while simultaneously holding the coffee between my legs and trying to rip open and fold back the lid properly, or do I go the safe route and put the coffee in the cup holder and wait til I get to a red light. I go for the potential crotch burn while the car's rolling ahead, lucking out with a good lid rip.
Challenge Three: Drink or RRRoll
After a few sips, and with prompting from a huge roadside billboard, my thoughts go to the prizes waiting under my rim. Can I really wait until I finish the whole coffee or should I just drink a bit, take off the lid, and do a quick rim roll? Can I do it without getting coffee on my shirt? I decide on a compromise. I drink half of the coffee, wait for a red light, bang off the lid, then roll.
Challenge Four: Break the Cycle
Yah! I totally won a coffee. No more of those stupid "Please Give Us More Money and Play Again's"
Winning cup in hand, I begin planning when I'll go back again to cash it in. Is lunch time too soon? Nah, I think I can wait til tomorrow morning and buy the biggest possible coffee they'll give me. My mind races some more:
Can I leave this empty cup in my car's cup holder all day?
Is that safe?
Has anyone ever broken into a car to steal a winning Tim Hortons cup?
Could I win again?
How awesome would that be?
Now that it's happened once it'll probably happen again.
Maybe they messed up this year and printed too many winning cups so I better go back lots before the contest is over because I didn't win anything last year.
Has anyone won the car yet?
Could I get it?
Could I quit my job if I won the car?
Do people in Chilliwack ever win the car, or do the BC prizes always go to someone in Vancouver?
Challenge Five: Stay Sane
Here's the hard one. After winning, how do I tell my brain to not want to go through that too long just for a cup of coffee drive-thru experience again and again every day no matter how much "free" coffee I have at home? I'm an easy brainwash, it seems. Just let me win one in every 100 coffees and I'll be unable to escape your grasp, Tim.
Yah, I admit it, it's becoming clear to me now. With one win under my belt, I'm hooked and my life, my ability to control my prize-and-caffeine-based urges, is changed...at least until the contest is over.
Will I be able to stop going to Tim's every morning once I see they've started giving out the old brown instead of the wonderful red-and-yellow prize cups, you wonder? Yah, I wonder about that too.
I'll let you know...or I'll more likely see you in drive thru. I'll be the one who's looking yet not loooking at you in the rear view mirror, counting pennies, singing to StarFM while trying not to move my lips, and thinking only a little bit about the drive thru's tv screen upsell items.
Knowing me, If they had "RRRoll Down The Muffin Paper Thing and Win", I'd probably buy that too.
Send us your feedback and thoughts about Tim Hortons, drive thru's and coffee. Has coffee inadvertently changed your life? Can you function without it? Have you ever won anything from Tim Hortons?
Recent Feedback about "Tim Horton's Changed My Life ":
Linda says
I love Tims they know me so well that my coffee waits nightly at the
drive through on my way to work. The store at Promontary does need to get bigger
and change the drive through lines are too long and frustrating,but I still
wait...for that coffee. April 9, 2007
Sharon says
You can get a rim-roller at Lee Valley Tools - here's the story: http://www.citynews.ca/news/news_8629.aspx
Bruce says
Tim's coffee has MSG in it and higher levels of caffeine than
traditional coffees. The drive throughs contribute to pollution with so many
vehicles running engines and going nowhere. The road side trash from driving
through is another reason to shut down drive thoughts to eliminate tons of
garbage. Finally coffee depletes inter cellular levels of glutathione and
therefore impacts negatively on your immune system, you bodies ability to
detoxify and inhibits antioxidants.
Yes Tim's changed my life by avoiding it 100% always. April 4, 2007
In Need of Job says
im trying to get a job at tim hortons but they havent called me back yet.... its been like 2 weeks..... i found a winning cup in my house and wondered should i steal it and go get a dounut or just leave it.... i have problems....lol. April 3, 2007
Irene says
Congrats on the win..I won a loaf of white bread in our local grocery promo. Exciting, hey? March 16, 2007
Stupid says
What is tim hortons? March 14, 2007
Amy H said
"lol. I've spent a whack on drive through coffees and I'm still waiting for the big win" March 14, 2007
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